On The Clock

I’m really nervous as I unpack my things from the car. If I do well in this simulation, then maybe I’m going to do okay after all. But if I panic or struggle, maybe I’m not meant to be a firefighter. I grab my gear bag and schlep it over to the group of my classmates who are already getting dressed. Willie claps his hands, urging us on.

“Come on, come on, this is a PPE drill, let’s go guys, get your stuff on.”

I pull my turnout gear on as fast as I can, pausing to make sure my flash hood sits flat against my back. My stomach is churning intensely, making loud gurgling noises. As I put my hands on my helmet, finally done, Pete comes over to check us.

“Good, good. Alright guys, go over there and wait for further instruction.”

I look at my SCBA on the ground and know I’m about to be wearing it for a few hours. I put it on with a smile, though, and go stand near the simulator. I meet the people in my group; I still feel so bad for not knowing everyone’s name yet. The instructor for our group comes and introduces himself.

“Who’s been in a burning building before?” We look around at each other, and no one pipes up.
“No one? Wow, okay.”
“I’m going to be honest, I’m really nervous about this.”
“Oh, I am too,” the guy next to me says, nodding vigorously.
“You guys are going to do great, just remember to control your breathing. And don’t touch each other.”

It’s in the thirties outside, but I’m sweating bullets. I’m not sure if it’s the gear or the nerves, but I’m losing it just a little bit. I remind myself to breathe slowly as I don my SCBA and start the Darth Vader breathing.

“Let’s go, let’s go, get down low on the ground, go, go, go!”

I crawl on my hands and knees, shoved up to the front of the flashover simulator. I left my glasses off in hopes that I wouldn’t warp or damage them by accident, so I look around with blurred vision. All I see is smoke, but I can make out some orange glow in the foreground. The instructor to my left is controlling the simulator, and is explaining to us what is going on. The sound of my breathing keeps me from understanding him fully, though.

The smoke gets thick and dark. It’s oppressive, forcing me lower to the ground as it descends upon us, and I try not to panic. Suddenly, fire erupts, spilling across the ceiling in an ephemeral sheet. Long, skinny tendrils break off from the main event and burn out brilliantly.

I watch as they make it happen time and time again, absolutely wowed. I feel the heat penetrating my gear, and before I know it, we’re on our way back outside. We walk around for a good minute, cooling ourselves before we attempt to take anything off.

We repeat the simulation once more before we go, and this time I better position myself so I can see what is happening more clearly. I love it even more the second time, and can’t help but smile as I pack up my gear to go home.

The hour and a half spent on the way back home is wonderful. Pete, Willie and I keep one another entertained as the two youngin’s next to me doze sleepily against the windows. I don’t even notice how uncomfortable the middle seat is even though my body is sore through and through.

My clothes have been permeated with the wonderful smell of smoke, and my face is soot streaked. I’m sweaty and thirsty, but for once I’m completely and utterly happy. Nothing gets to me. Worries about finishing final exams from last semester, appointments at the UVA genetics clinic, and concerns about my plans for the summer just slip away and I am at peace.

I think this firefighting thing is going to work out well.